A Pound of Flesh (Seven, Actually)

I don't think I played a video game since "Super Mario World" before the Wii came out.

This past weekend I went to my mom’s house for Christmas.  It was fun.  My brothers were there and my niece was there and we played Rock Band on the greatest video game system ever (Wii).  I got a Seinfeld DVD season and a 30 Rock DVD season and a sawhorse to finish staining the trim. 

After unwrapping presents, we all went to see a movie.  I wanted to see The Day the Earth Stood Still, but since I heard the movie sucks all kinds of ass, we all decided to see Seven Pounds instead.

I don’t know if the movie makers simply don’t give the movie-going public enough credit, or if I’m super smart, but I figured out this entire movie about 12 minutes in.  First of all, it’s called Seven Pounds, which means the lead character did something wrong and has to make up for it seven times.  In the first few seconds of the movie, we see a quick scene of a car crash (it’s only a few frames), which means the lead character caused a car accident.  He then names seven people, which brings us back to the title and the number of people who died in the accident.  He also talks about suicide in the first few seconds, which means he’s going to kill himself and make up for the seven people he killed.  The only thing I didn’t know was how he was going to kill himself.  A few more minutes into the movie, the lead character does a mysterious voice-over (the only one he has in the entire film) where he talks about how a jellyfish is the deadliest creature on earth, which means he’s going to kill himself by letting a jellyfish sting him. 

The next 90 minutes was spent watching my predictions unfold: he falls in love with the beautiful lady who ironically needs a new heart, he’s testing the blind guy who can ironically see the good in people, he gives his house to a woman who is strong enough to defend her children against attack, but who ironically cannot defend herself. 

I’m hoping I can make Tiny Life a little more enthralling.  I think I’m doing a good job so far.  The predictions I’ve gotten from people have been WAY off (the one that springs to mind is that Jed controls his assassin friend Dave and the black-box narrator is actually a mind-controlling vampire).