Review the Second

For those of you just joining us, I’m trying to give a well-rounded set of opinions for Tiny Life.  I’ve gotten quite a few reviews, but most of them run in the monosyllabic category; “Cool!” or “Sucks!” are the most often used refrains.

So I’m trying to show you the constructive criticism I’ve received.

The next one comes from Charlie of Charlie’s Comics in Tucson AZ:

Dear Nick:

Man, I hope things will start looking up in the rest of the book; so far it’s pretty maudlin.  The main character is reminiscent of Dennis Worden’s ‘Stickboy’ while the art reminds me of some of Jeff Nicholson’s early work.  His current style ‘Colonia’, isn’t quite so heavily cross-hatched and pays more attention to backgrounds. 

Although the early work I’m thinking of, ‘Through the Habitrails’ did get an Eisner nomination, if not an award.  And it was a pretty depressing work too.

Writing is just a matter of creating three or more characters, establishing them, adding change and waiting to see what happens.  In the first eleven pages you’ve established a depressed character deep in a rut while introducing, albeit off camera, his siblings.  In an action adventure type story you’d want to start with the most exciting, adrenaline filled event in the book and go backwards or, preferably, forward from there.  In a more slice-of-life tale, which is, I think, what you’re going for, real life emotions are recognized and established more easily and therefore the pacing has to be higher through the narratives.  Ed Brubaker’s early auto-bio stories, before he became the big time writer he is now, when he had to draw his own stuff, paced the anecdotal tales so well that it worked, even though he didn’t win his first Eisner until he collaborated with an artist, Eric Shanower.  Joe Matt’s auto-bio stories were extremely depressing, but they were bizarre enough that they developed a following.  While Joe portrayed himself as self-absorbed, selfish, abusive and unlikable it was still entertaining to watch him betray his girlfriend to get some rare porn, which he obsessively edited, or an elusive reel for his Viewmaster collection.

Even though much of the eleven pages I read were solitary reflection, more backgrounds could add to your characterization and make the pages more interesting.  While the cross-hatching is effective as a substitute for using gray tones, and it fits well with the type of feathering you use in your artwork, it could get redundant fast.  If he’s going to sit and obsess at least give him a window so the reader can watch the time pass.   

I found the eleven pages intriguing but by the end of page nine I was ready for SOMETHING to happen; that ‘change’ that will motivate this self-pitying wreck of an individual.  The catalyst that usually breaks someone out of self pity is someone or something MORE pitiful..

I’ve been running a comic shop for over 23 years now, my own for over 7, I’ve helped quite a few of the locals get their stuff published and still end up lettering a lot of the locals, and have written reviews on and off for the Comic Buyer’s Guide for several years.  I hope my critique is helpful and not hurtful.  The fact that you’re working on issue five is promising and hopefully the story moves quickly in the upcoming pages and issues. 

Best of luck, Nick.  I’ll give your book a shot on the racks and if you’re ever in the Tucson area, stop in and sign some books.

I hope that you and yours are happy and healthy.

Peace,

Charlie

5445 E. 22nd Street

  Suite 115   Tucson, Arizona   85711 – 5405   http://www.charliescomics.com   PHONE: 520.320.0279  

This is probably the most insightful of the reviews I’ve gotten, so thank you for that.

It’s a pretty long letter, so let me talk about it point by point:

1. It’s interesting the first thing you said is “maudlin,” which implies a character’s problem with alcoholism.  In the eleven pages of the first preview and of the 10-or-so pages of the second preview, alcohol was mentioned once.  Although Jed’s father’s alcoholism is a factor in some of the story, ultimately, the only thing about it that really affects Jed is his choice not to drink (which you’ll see a little more in Our Short Years and possibly God & Country). 

2.  You mentioned a couple times that this is a depressing work (or at least compared it to other depressing works).  I don’t see it like that.  Although l(a does chronicle a lonely spot in Jed’s life, I don’t think I would consider it depressing.  This is really the point where Jed begins to wake up a little bit.  One of the themes of the entire series is that Jed has to learn to function on his own, and in this book he begins to do that.  Not as much as he will in Books 8 and 9, but still…

3.  You also compared Tiny Life to various autobiographical works.  I wish that I could take credit for everything that is about to happen to Jed.  Although some of it is quite tragic (losing his dad at 16 years old, for instance), a lot of it is astonishing and quite impossible.  However, some of it is based on my life, some of it is based on my friend’s life, and some of it is completely made up; I guess you can call it a biographical/autobiographical/fiction piece of prose.

4.  Your biggest point in the review is that I’ve set up a character, I’ve set up his situation, now I should make something happen (I thought more people would complain about this, but so far you’re the only one).  One of the designs of the series revolves around anticipation.  Once you’re done reading l(a, you want to know more about Jed’s past – was his dad the asshole Jed thinks he was, was his mom a saint, were his friends as close as he thinks, why do people around Jed seem to go insane – and you want to know more about his future – where will he go now, where is Dave, what will happen with his foster parents, what will happen with his friends, who is the narrator…  Basically, l(a is the “teaser” book; it’s the book that “hooks” you.  Granted, it’s not the most exciting, but I do believe it’s the most interesting place to start. 

Anyway, thanks, Charlie, for the compliments and advice.