Gift for Me

I’m trying to figure out whether or not I should buy an iPhone.

My hand is bonier and has ink all over it.

I never buy myself anything.  My only vice is Coca-Cola, which I spend about $5 per week on.  I don’t really drink (there are beers in the fridge, but they’ve been there since Halloween), I don’t do any illegal drugs (if you check my family history, you’ll see why), I don’t shop constantly (although I have been buying Foo Fighters singles online over the past few months), I don’t even watch TV or play video games that often (maybe 30 minutes a day).  Basically, all I do is teach math or think about Tiny Life.

So, about once a year, I buy myself something.  Last year it was an iMac.  The year before that was a laptop (which I took back.  Damn thing didn’t work).  The year before that it was an iPod. 

It's not so much a "laptop" as it is "portable" and "strenuous."

I could argue that my gift was l(a this year.  I’ve wanted it for a long time, I saved up for it, and it cost – after all was said and done – about the same as any of these other gifts. 

Of course, I could also argue that my current two-pound cell phone sucks, that my current 30-pound laptop (seriously, it says, “Designed for the new Windows 95!” on it), and that my current dial-up internet and super-expensive phone service just don’t seem to be cutting it anymore.

Then again, I don’t really need a cell phone, a laptop, anything faster than dial-up ,or anything fancier than a land-line.

But dangnabbit, I could post these wherever I went (like at the dog park, BBQ Joe’s, or The Wife’s get-togethers).

Here’s a compromise.  I’ll need three things:

1. a 30 gig model to replace my iPod
2. an external keyboard to replace my laptop
3. a guarantee that it’ll work at my house

There.  Now all of those things have to come true before I make a decision. 

Now I can quit thinking about it and get back to inking.